How To Quit Smoking In One Easy Lifetime

Thursday, January 27, 2011 4:57
Posted in category Stop Smoking

The eyes snap open at 4:00 am. This is not a good thing. Normally, Mr. Ornery arises at 5 and he has a ritual that he follows. He heads straight for the coffee maker, trying to tiptoe past the dog so that he can get a cup of caffeine into his system befor going out to be towed all around the neighborhood. With coffee in hand, he then lights his first cigarette of the day.

Starting this ritual two hours early though is hazardous to his mental health. Today, Mr. Orny is low on cigarettes and it is not for nothing that friends and family call him “the Human Chimney.” He is a chain-smoker extraordinaire.

Exactly how much this habit has cost him and cost the ozone layer over the years, Mr. Orny does not want to consider. Suffice it to say, if he had bought tobacco company stock instead of the product, well, the corporate profit margins would have taken a serious bath. Still, he would be a much healthier and wealthier man today.

All of that is so much exhaled smoke anyway. With Mr. Orny’s luck, he would have walked out his door, inhaled deeply into his smoke-free lungs, and proceeded to get run down by a city bus belching smokey exhaust. Besides, none of this does a thing to alter the fact that Mr. Orny has two, count them, two cigarettes left. These will last him most of the way through his first cup of coffee.

Many people have said that when they try to quit smoking, they don’t know what to do with their hands. Others who have quit say to take up something such as knitting or crochet. Mr. Ornery might try this if not for the fact that he would wind up knitting a tea cozie the size of Africa.

A far greater problem is what to do with the mind. There are programs that advocate meditation. One of these might work but for the fact that Mr. Ornery’s mantra would become. This would seem wholly counter-productive.

There are patches and nicotine gum too, but Mr. Orny does not like the idea of a long-term band aid and he is not trying to quit chewing tobacco. So what is left? The only other method listed is the “he man” quit cold turkey approach. It is this or try to find something to do that will occupy both brain and hands. The way he feels already, barely four and a half hours into his day, ax murder may be quite an attractive hobbie. He will keep you posted.

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